The Nice Guy

Are Nice Guys Respected?

I had a conversation recently and I found out that some people do not believe that nice people are respected.

Isom Jacobs

It has come to my attention that nice guys are seen as passive-aggressive and weak. It was a sense as if being nice means being a door mat. The alternative was to be aggressive. In other words to be that aggressive respected person one must be give people a hard time on any disagreement. This is a "you don't have to like me but you will respect me." I only see this as people do not like you and they do not respect you, they may not always challenge you because to them you are just not worth it. The combative person is not the one who is respected just because they will fight you over anything and everything because they are aggressive. 

Me being on the other side, I see people who are aggressive am I weak for not wanting to deal with them? Not even in a situation where these aggressive people are upset with me but being upset over things you cannot change. Sometimes you get frustrated and that is understandable, I cannot deal with someone who cannot control their anger. I am not a big fan of movies so I do not buy wolf-tickets. 

Aggressive Black Man vs. Nice Man

I feel the pressured being a black man to become this aggressive man. We are called to be the protector, provider, the dominant force, and secure. I have seen women set up their own man for a confrontation with other men just to be protected. Mild to moderate jealously is viewed as a bit sexy and that he cares in my experience. I get told that it means that I am something worth protecting by women. I chose to trust her to do the right thing when I am not there, but if I am with someone who thinks what I have previously stated then it puts a stain on the trust. I say this because if a guy is pushing up on your woman and she thinks you do not care, what do you think will stop her then?

Another type of pressure that I have been put under as a black man is "putting your woman in her place." I am an adult so is the women I date. Enough said.